Relationship Bill of Rights

by Eve Rickert & Franklin Veau

You have the right, without shame, blame or guilt:

In all intimate relationships:

to be free from coercion, violence and intimidation
to choose the level of involvement and intimacy you want
to revoke consent to any form of intimacy at any time
to be told the truth
to say no to requests
to hold and express differing points of view
to feel all your emotions
to communicate your emotions and needs
to set boundaries concerning your privacy needs
to set clear limits on the obligations you will make
to seek balance between what you give to the relationship and what is given back to you
to know that your partner will work with you to resolve problems that arise
to choose for yourself whether you want a relationship that is monogamous or not, and to seek partners who want the same things you do
to have agreements respected, and to have the option of renegotiating agreements that are no longer working
to grow and change
to make mistakes
to end a relationship

In non-monogamous relationships:

to decide how many partners you want
to choose your own partners
to have an equal say with each of your partners in deciding the form your relationship with that partner will take
to choose the level of time and investment you will offer to each partner
to understand clearly any rules that will apply to your relationship before entering into it
to discuss with your partners decisions that may affect you
to have time alone with each of your partners
to enjoy passion and special moments with each of your partners

In a family or intimate network:

to choose the level of involvement and intimacy you want with other members of the family or network
to be treated with courtesy
to seek compromise
to have relationships with people, not with relationships
to be treated as a peer of every other person, not as a subordinate

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