The Four Agreements & Ethical Non-Monogamy

Introduction

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz offers guidelines for personal freedom and happiness. I have curated a comprehensive review below with applications to consensual non-monogamy (CNM). The intention is to contribute towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships built on trust, clear communication, and personal growth. Allow this information to sink in and provide an opportunity for reflection and ultimately, integration into who we are becoming. Be Impeccable with Your Word In CNM, being impeccable with your word means practicing honest and open communication. It involves expressing your needs, desires, and boundaries to your partners clearly and honestly. It also means being truthful about your intentions, maintaining transparency, and honoring your commitments and agreements. This can be difficult if we tend to live in a state of toxic positivity or cope through repressing these deep unmet needs. Building this comfortability with discomfort, understanding the complex emotions and honoring all parts through the journey. Building a foundation of personal and relational trust as well as effective communication is essential for successful non-monogamous relationships.

Don't Take Anything Personally

In CNM, it's crucial to remember that your partners' choices and actions are not necessarily a reflection of your worth or value. Recognize that each individual in a non-monogamous relationship has their own unique desires, needs, and boundaries. It's important not to internalize feelings of jealousy or insecurity as a personal attack, but rather as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Embracing empathy, understanding, and non-attachment can contribute to healthier relationships within non-monogamy. Don't Make Assumptions CNM thrives with clear and explicit communication. It is a misconception that we need to have the same desires or goals to get along or find a solution. Conversations are not about being right, but instead about being seen and heard. Making assumptions about what the other wants or intends can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and hurt feelings. The key? Practice active listening and ask clarifying questions to ensure that you fully understand your partners' thoughts, feelings, and desires. Sometimes we speak and our chosen words and they do not represent the same things to others. Be patient with yourself and others. Be mindful to not assume that your partners' needs, expectations or associations are the same as yours. Instead, create a space where everyone can express themselves openly and honestly to foster trust and avoid unnecessary confusion. Leaving room for error, for changes of the heart and new insights can reinforce feelings of safety and connection.

Always Do Your Best In CNM, doing your best means continuously striving to act with integrity, compassion, and respect for yourself and your partners. It is a reminder that the sum of the whole is more than the sum of one and how we are all interwoven together. Adaptability involves being open and willing to and adjust as you navigate the complexities of non-monogamous relationships. It involves regularly examining your actions, intentions, and motivations to ensure they align with your personal values and the agreements you've made with your partners. It is part of life to change and grow. Growing with mindful intention can be the challenge. Final Thoughts Embrace personal growth, learning and realigning and.. you may find that you are right where you need to be.